I remember scrolling through advertising directories when I started escorting and being shocked: escorts showed their faces. No blur, no cropping, no face-turned-away-from-the-camera-so-that-it-looks-like-you’re-sniffing-your-armpit posing. Faces out, in all their glory. At that time, I didn’t know showing your face was even a thing. And, if I’m honest, the thought of showing my face made me feel a little woozy.
I have a feeling you might be experiencing something similar. When you’re scrolling through directories and see that every second escort shows their face, it’s impossible not to feel a little bit of pressure. Maybe you think that showing your face would increase your income; maybe you believe that hiding your face means you are ashamed of your job; maybe you’re scared of your family finding out or perhaps you don’t want to limit future employment opportunities.
I get it because I’ve felt ALL of these emotions. It’s okay to lay down your fears about privacy, discretion, income and the future. In fact, it’s GOOD for you. Let me spend some time walking you through how to make the decision, so no matter WHAT you decide is best for you, you’ll have clarity around your conclusion.
If you want to show your face (and if you’re reading this, I’m going to bet you’ve at least considered the idea at some point), then you need to identify your WHY. Don’t just think about it. Take a minute to write it down and get specific. What do you want to achieve by showing your face? How do you anticipate your life, work, future and relationships changing as a result of showing your face? What would be your ideal outcome, and is that realistic? Once you’ve identified your why you are ready to move onto the next step.
Is sex work a short-term or long-term plan for you? Is it a full-time or part-time venture? Is sex work your career, or is it a side-gig? How much do you want to earn doing sex work and how quickly do you want to make that money? What sort of sex work do you want to do, and is it necessary to show your face to do that type of work? If you do feel as though it’s necessary, are there any other ways to achieve what you wish to achieve, without showing your face?
What else is going on in your life, and is there potential for sex work to impact this negatively? Is showing your face worth the negative consequences down the track? I think we can often get caught up in short-term gain, and not consider long-term plans.
Areas of the future to consider might include:
You need to weigh up the pros and cons of showing your face as an escort. I would encourage you to get very real with yourself and spend time exploring the probability of every consequence that pops up during this process. Make sure you create an action plan for each possible consequence of showing your face, so YOU stay in CONTROL. Thinking about possible consequences can be difficult and confronting. Still, it’s a hell of a lot easier than being faced with a nasty situation that could have been avoided with some forward-thinking.
Only you can decide if it’s right for you.
Photo by Unsplash.
Disclaimer: I cannot, and do not, speak for all sex workers. I speak from my experience of working in a legal brothel and as an independent escort in Australia. Where possible I try to be inclusive. However, I can’t relay every experience of sex work – especially if I haven’t experienced it myself.
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