Sustaining motivation can be tough. It’s especially tough to stay motivated your phone is dead, and your inbox is empty. So how can you stay motivated even when the money isn’t flowing?
Motivation is not magic. It does not come in a bottle. There isn’t a button you can push to turn it on. But, you can design your life so that it supports you to stay motivated.
Will I ever stop talking about routines? Probably not.
It’s important to stick to some semblance of a routine, even when it’s quiet and you are not doing face-to-face work. Craft a routine around your ideal work schedule. If you usually work at night, maybe setting an alarm at 6am isn’t best for you. Nevertheless, it’s essential to create a routine just as you would do if you were working in an office. Routine creates habits and habits turn into accomplishments. And you know what you feel when you accomplish something? Motivated.
I know when work is quiet it’s tempting to leave your phone on 24/7 because you don’t want to miss a booking request. However, always being on-call significantly impacts wellbeing. It means you never get time to completely relax and rest because your body is always on edge, being ready to go. It’s important to remember to look after yourself. If you can’t set strict work hours, at least give yourself some time out from your phone each day, even if it’s just for an hour. Do something just for yourself and give yourself a chance to recharge.
The sex industry is a weird and wonderful thing. Sometimes it’s so dead you have to send yourself a text to make sure your phone isn’t broken, and sometimes you make enough cash to cover all your bills in one day. I still haven’t cracked the code. However, I have learned that with variable income it’s important to set fortnightly or monthly earning goals, rather than daily or weekly goals.
Here’s why: if you set a daily goal and you have a quiet day, you are going to feel demotivated. If you set yourself a fortnightly goal, it gives you some room to move. Some days will be busy; some days will be quiet. The longer time allows your earnings to even out. It’s much better to accept the variability and work your business around that than to let your mood be influenced by it. Which leads us to…
Business, like life, has ebbs and flows. Sometimes, no matter what you do, it’s going to be quiet, and that might make you feel uncertain. Will you pay your bills on time? Will you meet your goals? The more you try to push away the uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty, the more it’s going to show up on your doorstep in the middle of the night banging to be let in. We need to learn to accept the ebbs and flows of business. One thing I have found incredibly helpful is meditation. Even meditating for just ten minutes a day can help you stress less, focus more and even sleep. Try the Headspace app to start with, and let me know what you think.
I’ve been both a part-time and a full-time sex worker over the years. When I’ve done sex work part-time, I’ve found it much easier to take quiet periods in my stride. I was okay with work being quiet because I had another job or study to throw my energy into. However, when I’ve escorted full-time and business was quiet, I found it to be hell on earth.
We spend so much time talking about the joys that escorting brings: flexibility, freedom, the ability to go grocery shopping in the middle of the day on a Monday or go to a 3pm gym class. What we don’t talk about is that if you work from home as an escort a quiet week can mean no contact with the outside world, mind-numbing boredom, and hair-pulling frustration which leads to tears on the bathroom floor (been there, done that).
My point is, if your sole focus is waiting for enquiries, then you are going to go insane when business is quiet. You need to have something else to do, whatever that may be: take an online course, walk dogs, go to the 3pm gym class, take up baking, volunteer, declutter your house, learn to paint. Whatever it is that floats your boat. Just do it. Give yourself something else to focus on that will bring you joy or satisfaction.
Photo by Unsplash.
Disclaimer: I cannot, and do not, speak for all sex workers. I speak from my experience of working in a legal brothel and as an independent escort in Australia. Where possible I try to be inclusive. However, I can’t relay every experience of sex work – especially if I haven’t experienced it myself.
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